There are all kinds of messed up arguments flying around in favor of the baby box, but they really boil down to...
What are the odds of moving next door to another single white lady (as my mother is) who had adopted a child from Guatemala (as I am,...
Hugs to you, too, and to anyone who had to grow up dealing with asshole adoptive parents who were physically, sexually, mentally, emotionally, or...
goawaywithjae said: WHAT? Hugs.
No this actually makes me laugh because their knowledge of Korea is so...
for my followers living in korea:
i will be participating in a human library event on july 6th @2pm in hongdae to speak about adoptee rights. the topic is human rights so each speaker will be a human rights activist. in addition to myself, a KUMFA mom will also be speaking about unwed mothers’ rights in korea. that i know of so far, there will also be LGBTQ rights attorney/activist, persons with disabilities activist, with other activists currently being recruited.
i’ve asked them to provide english translation, if there are english speakers who want to attend. if you are interested, please let me know and which “book” you are interested in hearing (only five “readers” can register for each book).
Okay. You guys have seen that “What kind of Asian are you” video that’s been circulating, right? The one by “Ken Tanaka”? If not, here it is.
Anyway, boredom led me to do some investigation into this guy, and now I kinda wanna slap him in the face.
I thought the video was humorous and kind of spot-on, but I’m a little sickened by the fact that the guy who made it, “Ken Tanaka,” is really an American actor who created this persona of a white person adopted by a Japanese couple, raised in Japan, and who’s now returned to America to search for his birth parents.
I’ve read a few articles and commentary about the whole thing that basically say, “Ha ha, it’s a joke, and even if it’s not true, it’s still amusing that he’s created this whole back story and is pretending to be a Japanese person stuck in a white person’s body.”
To that, I say: fuck. you.
I’m not quite sure what’s humorous about pretending to be a transracial adoptee, faking a Japanese accent, and then proceeding to make a bunch of videos about Asians.
I’m not sure why it’s funny to joke about searching for your birth parents or why we should laugh at the fact that he’s basically just mocking Asians, Asian culture, and transracial adoptees. I don’t think any of those things are funny, or material for white men to be creating miles and miles of jokes out of in order to gain some internet fame.
Fuck that. Fuck the whole thing.
i wrote about this already here, but i just wanted to reiterate what a fellow adoptee has to say about it. i said it in the post linked above, but people don’t even realize how fucking common it is for people to joke about being adopted, someone else being adopted, wishing they were adopted, being an orphan, someone else being an orphan, etc.
then there’s the concept that incest between adopted siblings is acceptable (there’s a korean-american actress lindsay price, whose parents are married adopted siblings… as in, her mom is an adopted korean and her dad is the biological child of her grandparents). and relationships between adopted children and parent figures (woody allen and soon yi) is forgivable… the hypocrisy of adoptees being told that we are no different than “real” family but then we see this shit. WTF! my brothers’ friends used to actually joke around and say “incest is best” when we were all together and we had to fucking laugh about it even though it’s NOT FUCKING FUNNY. especially when you know how fucking common it is for adoptees to be victims of sexual molestation and assault within our own families. NOT FUCKING FUNNY.
these are the things that adoptees see constantly being accepted in popular culture in regards to adoption and it’s NOT OK. our lives are not jokes, punchlines. they’re also not romaticized fairy tales - stop fucking saying you wish you were adopted. fucking stop.
(in regards to this post)
that’s exactly how i felt about my boyfriend (at the time). i felt sick. i wasn’t angry, just really disappointed. and i thought to myself - this person has known me for how long, has heard me talk about being adopted how many times, has met how many of my adoptee friends, has been to how many adopted-related conferences, movies, etc. and it was exactly how you described it. i couldn’t look at him the same way after that. we broke up a month later. plenty of people said (or insinuated) that i was overreacting. but i don’t have to explain or rationalize the way something like that changes a relationship. i didn’t break up with him because he was “wrong” or “bad” because yes, anyone can make a thoughtless mistake. but because i couldn’t look at him the way i did before (i tried for a month and it didn’t work).
Oddly enough, it comes courtesy of Ken Tanaka, whose youtube user name is helpmefindparents. In his bio, he says he was born in the U.S. and adopted by a Japanese couple, who raised him in the Shimane Prefecture of Japan. He is back in America searching for his birth parents, John and Linda Smith.
Um. Sure. Because there are so many Japanese couples looking to bring home white children to the Shimane Prefecture.
According to Wikipedia, Tanaka actually is David Ury. I get that he’s a comedian and that he has a schtick. But I don’t find it funny to make a joke about being adopted. There are literally thousands of adoptees who are searching for their biological parents, and most will never find them.
That is not a laughing matter.
as an adoptee, like jae-ha says, i was also really put off by this.
people think its funny to joke about the fact that adoptees spend their lives looking for their parents?? what the fuck? do these people have no capacity for empathy?
adoption jokes/comments are all over the place and people don’t even fucking pick up on it. i can’t even count how many times i’ve heard people lightly say they “wish they had been adopted” or joke that their sibling is “adopted” if they do something stupid or that they don’t want to be associated with. do you remember the joke in the avengers when thor, after first insisting that loki is his brother, finally says “he’s adopted” when confronted with the fact that he’s killed a 80 people. i remember sitting in the theater stunned when literally EVERYONE, including my boyfriend at the time, had a big belly laugh at that one. at that moment, i felt completely lonely, even with my boyfriend (at the time) at my side. i was stunned that was even funny to people, but i guess i shouldn’t have been surprised, i’ve been listening to this kind of insensitive shit all my life. and when adoptees and adoptive parents took to the internet to criticize it, they were met with ridicule and hostility backed up by illogical rationalization (“The “he’s adopted” punchline shows us that Thor has enough of a sense of humor to correct himself, and that he’s distancing himself and all of Asgard from Loki’s treachery.” - ummm thanks for illustrating criticizer’s points??) i’m so fucking tired of adoption being used as the punchline to a joke. this is real people’s lives, trauma and pain, it’s not a fucking joke.