Tales of Wonderlost

I'm a Korean-American adoptee living in Seoul, getting my MA in Anthropology (yes, taking all of my classes in Korean TT). In my spare time, I volunteer at two great organizations: Korean Unwed Mothers' Families Association (KUMFA) and the Women's Global Solidarity Action Network (WGSAN) - a group that works on various issues, including with the survivors of military sexual slavery during WWII ("Comfort Women"). I also love cooking and baking and going to the noraebang ^^
Posts I Like

goodsmellmeow:

kzhang:

Yep, I just yelled “fuck you” at some blow job who said “ni hao” to me in the park.

My good friend Phoenix, posted this Facebook status a few weeks ago that turned into this interesting hotbed of resentful Western White male privilege.

Not only did this guy, Luke, brazenly display an incredibly condescending whitesplaining, mansplaining attitude, but he demanded that my friend, a woman of color, explain to him why the behavior that this man displayed while yelling at my friend in the park was harassment.

I hope I do not need to explain how utterly ridiculous and entitled of him it is to tell a Chinese-American woman to “present [him] with depth” and prove to him why it’s unacceptable for some dude to approach strangers in the park, saying “ni hao” at them. I hope it’s evident as to how absolutely arrogant it is for a White man to defend some stranger he’s only ever heard about rather than believe a woman of color when her life experiences deem this encounter to come from a point of racism/sexism. As obvious as how presumptuous Luke’s entitled reaction may be, I would like to make it clear that White men injecting themselves, uninvited, into conversations women and people of color are having about oppression happens all the time.

All. The. Time.

And worse than White men assuming their opinions are welcome in this place, White men believe their opinions should be valued above all others’, for theirs are the only ones that are “un-biased”. Notice the silencing tactics Luke uses. Women of color who are upset by racist/sexist remarks made to them in public who dare to react to those violations are “angry”, “irrational”, and not deserving of this White man’s Facebook friend list. Welcome to Gaslighting 101, everyone! Racist, sexist, privileged, arrogant gaslighting.

However, I don’t want to write about awful gaslighting today. I actually want to write about something else this privileged White dude brought up, being White in China vs. being Chinese* in the U.S.

Luke wrote,

[…] and for the record, I’ve had numerous similar experiences as being the ‘white guy’ in China for the past decade. I never reacted like that but then I don’t think this is about race as much as it is about Phoenix […]

First of all, way to be an asshole, Luke, by again dismissing the validity of Phoenix’s experiences and her assessment of the situation that she was in and you were nowhere near.

Second of all—and I want White people to understand this so—YOUR EXPERIENCE AS A WHITE PERSON IN AN ASIAN COUNTRY IS NOT THE SAME NOR AT ALL “SIMILAR” TO MY EXPERIENCE OR THE EXPERIENCE OF FELLOW ASIAN/PACIFIC ISLANDER PEOPLES IN THE UNITED STATES. Got it?

But, “why, Kathy?” you may ask. “Why can’t I just swap out different races/ethnicities in any scenario and the end result be the same?”

Really? Why? Because read a fucking history book—preferably one not crafted by the hegemonic White Western discourse.

The same people who think saying “ni hao” or “konnichiwa” to an Asian person in the U.S. is the same as an Asian person saying “hello” to a white person in an Asian country are the same people who think “reverse racism” is a thing. Guess what? Reverse racism isn’t real and those two situations are not at all the same thing.

Let’s just start with demographics. We all know that race is a social construct, but for simplicity purposes, let’s use it.

Population of China: 1.35 billion
Population of the U.S.: 316 million

Percentage White in the U.S.: 72.4%
Percentage Asian in the U.S.: 4.8% 

Percentage Asian in China: 99.x%
Percentage White in China: <1% (the number of White people in China is so insignificant compared to the entire population, it hasn’t bee properly documented)

Wow! There is a significantly smaller percentage of the Chinese population that is White compared to the American population that is Asian! Who would’ve thought?

Okay. That shouldn’t be a shock, right? The United States is a “land of immigrants” (even if certain states and politicians seem to spit on that fact). Being non-White in the U.S. isn’t supposed to be a novelty, it’s a truth. The U.S. census estimates that in 30 years, non-Hispanic/Latin@ Whites will make up less than half of the population. So seeing a non-White person really shouldn’t be a shock in the U.S. in 2013. And considering Phoenix works in Boston, and not middle-of-nowhere, Maine, she shouldn’t be treated as an anomaly walking through a park.

Approaching a random person of color or any person you do not definitively know the ethnicity of and saying “ni hao”, “hola”, or “jambo” at this person (particularly if you do not speak Chinese, Spanish, or Swahili) is not only obnoxious, but it is othering. The effect (regardless of whether it’s intentional or not) of this action on the person of color is to point out that they are somehow different from the White person (and legitimate American) speaking to them while transmitting the message “you are not welcome here”. API peoples constantly receive this message. From “where are you from?” to “what language do you speak?” to “what does your name mean?”, White people are consistently reminding us that because we are not White, we are not American.

So when some stranger says “ni hao” to my Chinese-American friend in the park, it is absolutely not  to be “friendly”, it is to invade her space and remind her that no matter what her birth certificate, voting record, or life experiences are, she will never be considered American and she will never be welcome because her hair isn’t blonde and her last name isn’t Smith.

People of color built this country. They did so despite political, economic, and social barriers erected to prevent them from prospering. The first wave of Chinese immigrants arrived in the 1800s, brought over to work on the transcontinental railroad as cheap labor at wages. Chinese workers were paid $27-$30 a month, compared to Irish workers, who were paid $35 a month and provided with living arrangements. Not only were the Chinese paid less than the Whites, they were also treated terribly. The White construction crews would order Chinese workers to enter caves where not all the dynamite had gone off, killing dozens of Chinese men. These men were forced to risk their lives, placed in to baskets and lowered over cliffs or into mines to drill holes and place dynamite, staking their luck and their lives on how quickly their fellow workers were able to pull them up. The term “Chinaman’s chance”? This practice is one of it’s origins. Over 1,200 Chinese workers died building the Central Pacific Railroad alone.

And what did the U.S. do to repay these Chinese immigrants for building such an extensive railroad system in this country? They passed the Chinese Exclusion Act to prevent Chinese immigration and then passed the Geary Act to extend the exclusion and placed new requirements on existing Chinese residents of the U.S. Among these requirements was a law that Chinese residents must carry proof of their residency at all time or risk a year of hard labor or deportation. Sound familiar? The Geary Act also forbade Chinese residents from bearing witness in a court of law and denied Chinese bail in habeas corpus proceedings.

For a country so proud of its immigrant-roots, its laws speak differently. Or are only White, Anglo-looking people allowed to claim this country as their own and all people of color must simply accept that we can never call the United States our homeland?

Let’s just step back a minute. Many Chinese families have been in the United States just as long or even longer than your European ancestors. Chinese workers played a big part in building this country. Yet, Chinese-Americans are being treated like they don’t belong in this country daily. Yes, even in the 21st century.

So don’t you dare fucking compare how you as a White man are treated in China to how a Chinese-American woman is treated in the United States. I haven’t even started exploring the rampant sexism that’s entwined with White men fetishizing API women as submissive and exotic. This view is a stereotype. It is a stereotype largely rooted in a history of Western colonialism and the geo-political dynamics between American soldiers and local women in the various wars and military aggressions of the late 20th century waged in East Asia and the Pacific, a stereotype that’s been perpetuated by Western, White, male-dominated mainstream media.

If you are a White person in China, you are most likely a tourist, or your job has located you there and you make significantly more money than the average Chinese worker (~$9k/yr). If a Chinese stranger approaches you and says “hello”, that might be annoying, but it doesn’t come with any of the same history and implications as a White stranger saying “ni hao” to an Asian person in the U.S., regardless of whether that person is Chinese. Considering the fact that British and U.S. imperialism has made English the default official language for multinational organizations and the forced lingua franca of many states in the Global South, the power differential between the White person and the Asian person in both of these situations favors the White person.

To Luke and every other White asshole who doesn’t “think about race”:

Your experience as a “minority” in an Asian country is not comparable to Phoenix’s experience as a Minority (Capital M for all of the historical, political, social baggage of that word) in the United States.

So sit down and shut up.

 

—————

*You can apply this same theory to Japanese-, Korean-, and other API peoples in the U.S., in so much as noting that being White in Japan is nothing like being Japanese in the U.S. (or Korean, Vietnamese, Malaysian, etc.). However, remember that although API peoples have a shared identity, the histories of each ethnic group’s legacies in the U.S. are different and the geo-political histories of the U.S.’s respective relationships (and wars and imperialism, etc.) are also distinct. It is ludicrous to assume that all 17.3 million Asian-Americans have the same histories and that nations with a combined population of 4 billion people have the same diplomatic relationship with the U.S. It is not only irresponsible, it is also racist.

My cousin’s white boyfriend brought up being white in China as a parallel to being a person of color in the U.S., and I had to tell him, “Noooooooo…”

white people who think being white in asia (or any non-white country) is comparable to being a POC in the US or europe = willfully ignorant about the way the world actually works. 

(via baseln)

so jinwoo and i were thinking to go to the states in august. looked up ticket prices - 5 million won for round trip for the two of us (i get reimbursed for one-way ticket to the states from my scholarship but i have to fly korean or asiana, which are both expensive). that’s just the airfare - not including the expenses while we’re there. we had planned on getting gifts for our parents (to give them after the wedding) while there. so ballpark would probably be 8 million won for the whole trip. 

the wedding is going to cost us around 12 million won, even if we go the package route with the venue (which includes venue rental, flowers, dress, hair/make-up, day of photography), the venue itself (you saw it, it’s amazing!) is a bit on the pricey side and the cost for the food is separate and 40,000 won per head. then we are renting a bus for guests to take roundtrip from seoul to busan. and that 12 million won estimate is even with us skipping the pre-wedding photo shoot thingy that people like to do here. 

the honeymoon is looking like at least 5 million won (airfare, housing, spending money)

someone give me 25 million won??? ugh. i hate money.

ecue:

lostintrafficlights:

For those of you who don’t understand what that Korean law is about, specifically Korean labor law states that it cannot discriminate between the sexes and that sexual harassment is not allowed at the workplace. However this failed to protect workers, esp women, in this case in public services, so a law was made in addendum specficially discussing the issues of female workers in public services. That law still fails to address the part where if you don’t educate your workers about sexual harassment there is a penalty, which in the private sector you can be fined for.

I.e special law made specifically to address women’s issues in the public sector does not discuss the need to educate all workers about sexual harassment. That’s misogynistic as fuck and unrealistic.

Again whether these anti discrimination laws and harassment laws are enforced is a different story, and I think there was a highly publicized case where a Samsung employee filed her superior for harassment and was kicked out.

word-of-the-law-wise, these laws are all very nice.

the problem is that these laws have almost no import in real life. for example, take the minimum wage - not only is it too low, it’s rarely enforced.

it has been this way for a long, long time: when 전태일 lit himself on fire in 1970, the message was not some grand slogan like “power to labor” or “higher wages” - it was “observe the labor standard laws (근로기준법 준수하라)”

i think a part of this has to do with our colonial history. the ‘modern’ concept of a law is that it’s supposed to be drawn up by representatives of a republic’s citizenry in order to protect the citizens’ rights and interests. however in korea, a lot of the legal infrastructure (especially law enforcement) was imposed by the japanese, in order to subjugate and prosecute koreans - who didn’t count as real human beings. 

some old-school korean activists (60 years or older) still use the term 헌병 or 순사(a rank used by the imperial japanese) instead of 경찰(police) as a reminder - both of our history and the fact that unless you’re rich and powerful, the law will never be on your side.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Hi Shannon, I saw your comment on the drop box photo on FB. First of all, Im sorry about your situations. I just wanna share my side of the story. I live in a developing country with messy regulations about abortion, adoption, and related stuff. I had a maid who actually did abandon her baby because she was unwed. She stated that she wants no connection with her child. But my relative, who adopted the child kept both in contact (Anon C) - 1
peaceshannon peaceshannon Said:

After a few years, my ex maid looked for her then 6/7yo child. For money. She pointedly told my relative that she has 0 intention to get to know the child, but she just wants my relative to “buy” that child from her because she needs money back then. The child whom I like to refer to as my cousin, was deeply hurt. So the way I see it, instead of forcing a mother who refuse to have connection with the child to keep the child, it’s less hurtful to leave the child with someone caring. 

Finally, I want to clarify that I fully respect your opinions on the drop box. I just hope maybe you can take a look at it from another perspective. I feel that the idea of this is not to cut the ties between mothers and babies, but to give a new hope for ashamed mothers to live a new life, and for the babies to not… at least not sold? Or die in the cold… Sorry again if I offend you in any ways. (Anon C) - 3

sigh. where do i begin. this is an old message that i got when a bunch of people were messaging me about the baby box. i’m just getting around to answering, but i do hope this person is still reading.

i have never stated that women should be forced to raise children that they don’t want to raise. i do believe that mothers should have the right to choose adoption. but i have written time and again about how this word “choice” is a tricky one and i believe that unwed mothers in korea currently have little to no choice to raise their children.

i have also never said that i think the purpose of the baby box is to cut ties between mothers and their children. HOWEVER, whether or not that is the goal is not relevant because that is what it DOES. let me repeat that, regardless of the purpose - in reality, that is EXACTLY what it does. as to your suggestion that the baby box gives “a new hope for ashamed mothers to live a new life” - i say i’m all for mothers having the right to live a new life without shame. but that right DOES NOT and will NEVER trump the child’s basic right to their birth information. PERIOD. the baby box takes that right away from the child. PERIOD. mothers who choose adoption should by all means have the chance to live without shame - AFTER they fulfill the proper requirements to ensure an ethical adoption for their child. that is a minimum requirement, people. 

as to your suggestion that if not for the babybox, the child would get sold or die in the cold, i say 1) what do you think adoption agencies are doing when they send children for adoption? do you think they are doing it out of the kindness of their hearts for free? adoption agencies have a history of exploiting vulnerable families in order to send children for adoption. they also have a history of negligently sending children who were lost (not orphans) and/or purposefully falsifying records in order to make children orphans so they could send for adoption. now, why do you think they do that? here’s a list of salaries for adoption agency executives. now tell me that those babies are not being sold. 2) the idea that if not for the babybox these babies would be abandoned on the street - i’ve written about it before here, but i’ll say it again: mothers who leave their children in a babybox clearly exhibit that they understand that abandoning babies on the road to die is wrong by the very fact that they’ve chosen to go to the babybox and not abandon in the street. assuming that if the babybox was not there, they would abandon them on the side of the road is faulty logic. by the same logic alone, it is just as reasonable to assume that if the babybox was not there, they would go one step further (not one step back) and ensure the baby is adopted ethically (which the babybox does not allow for). having worked extensively with unwed mothers in korea (as well as women who lost their children by adoption - almost always through coercion or force) i can say with confidence that the babybox simply provides a moral grey space for mothers who would otherwise give up for ethical adoption or choose to raise their child (if economic and social support were available). even worse, creates a situation (like mine), when people who are not the mother (or father) can give up for adoption. 

Asker Anonymous Asks:
So I was browsing through my dash and I came upon --> post/53304105518/cupcakesandrocketships-casting-appreciation .... I feel like I should be angry at what they're saying but I'm not sure, guess I just wanted your opinion on it? All I could think of was "couldn't they hold auditions for the role as well?"
peaceshannon peaceshannon Said:

ummm sorry, i have no idea what this is about? was something supposed to come up when i copy and pasted that?

ETA: ok i found it here. ummm yea because two actors declined it apparently that means they tried hard enough. typical ridiculous justification from people who want to defend whitewashing. because clearly there are only two men of the correct ethnicity IN THE ENTIRE WORLD who could play that role. what a joke. of course they could’ve held auditions and made real effort to find an actor of that ethnicity in order to properly represent the character. and of course they would’ve found someone perfectly capable to play the part. but they didn’t make the effort. and the public accepts it and even if there is an outcry, most of the general public will be like the idiot from the link you sent and defend this ridiculous whitewashing.

some of the highlights…

(via thegrandnarrative)

oh my gooooooood. i am a genius. i fixed it. I FIXED IT! it only took me two hours but i motherfucking fixed it. jinwoo the engineer couldn’t fix it but I FIXED IT~~ (to be fair, he wasn’t really that invested in fixing it) 

Google search the problem. I’ve solved a lot of Macbook issues this way.

yea that’s what i’ve been doing for the past hour and a half (i certainly didn’t come up with the paper-folding and other ideas, i’m not that creative!) i hate everything.

now the bluetooth itself is not even showing up in the system preferences menu. what the fuuuuck.

whyyyyy does my mouse hate me? why does it never work. i bought brand new batteries, still no go. i carefully fit paper inside it because after an internet search people said the batteries are too small. no dice. apple i hate you. really. just wasted like an hour that i should’ve been editing my thesis. still doesn’t work.