recipe? looks so good…
super easy: 3 cups of chocolate - any kind really. actually i had a 90% cocoa chocolate bar a friend had sent me from the states and then i just bought three chocolate bars (i live in korea, so the brand i bought was ghana). melt with a can of condensed milk and a dash of salt. once completely melted, take off heat and add 1.5 teaspoons of vanilla and any extras you want (i added almond slices just because i had them in around the house). spread over wax paper and chill for at least two hours. done!
한국미혼모가족협회는 이번주 일요일 (15일) 3시부터 6시까지 사무실 (5호선 화곡역 근처)에서 나눔학교 부모교육을 받을 예정입니다. 그때 아이를 봐줄 자원봉사자 2명을 모집하고자 합니다. 가능하신 분 제게 연락주세요~ KUMFA is looking for 2 volunteers to babysit this Sunday (15th) from 3-6pm at their office (near Hwagok station, line 5) while they receive “sharing school” parenting classes. please contact me if you are able to help out!
today i got an email from an adoptee friend who told me that her adoptive parents had asked what she wanted for christmas. instead of a gift, she requested they donate to kumfa!
another adoptee friend sent donations from two of her adoptive aunts - their minds had been changed about international adoption and they now instead believe that support of mothers is the answer, after hearing about the difficulties faced by unwed mothers in korea from their adopted niece.
another adoptee kumfa supporter, who was already signed up for monthly donations to kumfa asked me to cancel his current donation subscription so that he could quadruple his current monthly contribution.
it is a blessing and honor to be involved in work that always reminds me of the depth of human genorosity. these donations will be used in order to fund KUMFA’s activism work - work that advocates for the rights of mothers and children, not just for a short-term fix but for lasting social change. these are just three examples, but many people have sent in donations and they are all equally appreciated. thank you kumfa supporters for your understanding and commitment to meaningful social justice.
through the work i do, i hear a lot of adoptees’ stories. within the past few days, i’ve shared in the joy of one adoptee who found his korean mom. but i’ve also consoled another adoptee who hit yet another dead end in her search for her korean mom. i’ve heard the pain of one adoptee who is still fighting to get her deceased korean mother’s information from the adoption agency, even though the agency has all of her info and she passed away 25 years ago. to this day, she can’t even visit her mom’s grave and pay her respects. i’ve watched helplessly as adoptees cried over their frustration and guilt of not being able to maintain a relationship with their korean families, feeling guilty because they are one of the “lucky” ones who have been able to find their families but still struggle to have a relationship with their families and answer the questions, fill the gaps that have been left by adoption.
i can empathize with all of them. i’ve felt the deep despair of wanting to find my mom so desperately that it has driven me near the edge. the desperation so acute and heavy that at times it felt like i was being crushed under the weight of it and at other times that it had caused me to go entirely numb. i’ve felt the sting of envy and bitterness in my own heart when i went to translate for other adoptees and their korean families, feeling joy in their reunion but ultimately resentment because it wasn’t me. and then the shame for feeling the resentment at all.
having finally found my mom after six years of searching, i know the feeling of immediate peace it can bring, of finally being able to release some of your ghosts and the questions that have haunted you. but those answers lead only to more questions and you realize holes are holes. you may fill them but they do not disappear, just as cracks do not evaporate, no matter how strong the glue. and there is still the insecurity. that this relationship could be temporary too. that if i do not try hard enough, am not good enough, am not korean enough, am not accommodating enough, am not everything enough, i could lose her again. i understand the pressure to fulfill the expectations that everyone else around you has for your reunion - for it to complete you and give your story a “happy ending.” but reunion, in fact, is not an ending at all. it is the start of a whole new mess of feelings and confusions that adoptees must navigate. and it can, in some cases, be just as painful as the search. but still i would always recommend it to any adoptee. we have a right to know.